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FROM the 1896 Revolution to the first Philippine Republic, the Commonwealth period, the EDSA Revolt, and the tiger cub economy, history marches on. Thankfully, however, some things never change. Like the classics, things irresistibly Pinoy mark us for life. They’re the indelible stamp of our identity, the undeniable affinity that binds us like twins. They celebrate the good in us, the best of our culture and the infinite possibilities we are all capable of. Some are so self-explanatory you only need mention them for fellow Pinoys to swoon or drool. Here, from all over this Centennial-crazed country and in no particular order, are a hundred of the best things that make us unmistakably Pinoy.

1. Merienda. Where else is it normal to eat five times a day?

2. Sawsawan. Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo’t calamansi, suka at sili, patis.

3. Kuwan, ano. At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what you want.

4. Pinoy humor and irreverence. If you’re api and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.

5. Tingi. Thank goodness for small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life’s essentials in small affordable amounts?

6. Spirituality. Even before the Spaniards came, ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.

7. Po, opo, mano po. Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect–a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.

8. Pasalubong. Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop without the customary guilt.

9. Beaches! With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan–over here, life is truly a beach.

10. Bagoong. Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.

11. Bayanihan. Yes, the internationally-renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching in still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.

12. The Balikbayan box. Another way of sharing life’s bounty, no matter if it seems like we’re fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.

13. Pilipino komiks. Not to mention “Hiwaga,” “Aliwan,” “Tagalog Classics,” “Liwayway” and”Bulaklak” magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel, characters of a time both innocent and worldly.

14. Folk songs. They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.

15. Fiesta. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It’s a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.

16. Aswang, manananggal, kapre. The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.

17. Jeepneys. Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman’s communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver’s a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.

18. Dinuguan. Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mined with jalape쨚 peppers. Messy but delicious.
19. Santacruzan. More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena’s and Constantine’s search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it’s the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies–and the most beautiful gowns.

20. Balut. Unhatched duck’s embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.

21. Pakidala. A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don’t trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.

22. Choc-nut. Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M’s and Hershey’s.

23. Kamayan style. To eat with one’s hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners–ah, heaven.

24. Chicharon. Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.

25. Pinoy hospitality. Just about everyone gets a hearty “Kain tayo!” invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.

26. Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff. Home-cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.

27. Lola Basyang. The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.

28. Pambahay. Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.

29. Tricycle and trisikad, the poor Pinoy’s taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as PHPesos7.00, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.

30. Dirty ice cream. Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there’s the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.

31. Yayas. The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent–if you don’t mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.

32. Sarsi. Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.

33. Pinoy fruits. Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico, papaya, singkamas–the possibilities!

34. Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: Aurora Pijuan, Cardinal Sin, Carlos P. Romulo, Charito Solis, Cory Aquino, Emilio Aguinaldo, the Eraserheads, Fidel V. Ramos, Francis Magalona, Gloria Diaz, Manuel L. Quezon, Margie Moran, Melanie Marquez, Ninoy Aquino, Nora Aunor, Pitoy Moreno, Ramon Magsysay, Richard Gomez, San Lorenzo Ruiz, Sharon Cuneta, Gemma Cruz, Erap, Tiya Dely, Mel and Jay, Gary V, Kris Aquino, Papa Wilie “wowowie”,

35. World class Pinoys who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren “Bata” Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori, Pacquiao.

36. Pinoy tastes. A dietitian’s nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we’re the guys who put sugar (horrors) in our spaghetti sauce. Yum!

37. The sights. Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol’s Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pi?s Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.

38. Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.

39. Barangay Ginebra, Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball. How the verticaly-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.

40. People Power at EDSA. When everyone became a hero and changed Philippine history overnight.

41. San Miguel Beer and pulutan. “Isa pa nga!” and the Philippines’ most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol-rich chasers.

42. Resiliency. We’ve survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada, Robin Padilla, and Tamagochi. We’ll survive Gloria.

43. Yoyo. Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to “walk the dog” and “rock the baby,” using just a piece of string.

44. Pinoy games: Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.

45. Ninoy Aquino. For saying that “the Filipino is worth dying for,” and proving it.

46. Balagtasan. The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage.

47. Tabo. All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically-triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket _ and help the true Pinoy answer nature’s call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.

48. Pandesal. Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.

49. Jollibee. Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it’s invaded the Middle East, as well?

50. The butanding, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters. They’re Pinoys, too, and they’re here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing.

Filipinos signify ‘Yes’ by raising the eyebrows or lifting the head upwards slightly. The hand movements which mean ‘Go away’ to us signify ‘Come here’ in the Philippines.

The thumb and middle finger are not used to indicate numbers. Instead of pointing with your finger, indicate discreetly by pointing pursed lips in the direction you want.

One hisses to gain attention, for example, when calling a waiter in a restaurant. When you want to pay the bill, draw a rectangle in the air with your index finger and thumb.

If Filipinos don’t understand a question, they open their mouths.

So what do you think? Very unique, isn’t it?

If you are ever in the need to drive in the street of Manila, the following rules may help you to get to your destination in one piece.

The Filipino Drivers Greetings: When greeting a filipino driver, slowly lower your window and be prepare to greet the driver with: “Tang ‘na mo, Bobo”. However, if you have been already addressed by a fellow driver, reply with a joyful “Tang ‘na mo rin, Gago”.

On turn signals: If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go in to your lane. In fact press the accelerator and start driving next to him/her. The fellow driver will probably greet you and you already know what to do.

On Traffic Lights: These amusing artifacts hang from intersections for no apparent reason. Sometimes you will see driversstop to see the colors change on these lights (a facinating experience).

Government officials (specifically police) believe that each colors stands for an instructionsfor drivers to follow. From pure observation I have determine the following instructions for each colors:Yellow light: accelerate your car as much as possible.

Red light: this light gives permission to the next five to six cars to go through.Green light: reduce speed and wait for the five to six cars passing through their respective red lights.Little-known-fact: Time to start honking your horn, as soon as the lights turns green: 1.5 seconds.

On Changing Lanes: Changing lane has been elevated to an art form in the Philippines.First of all, no matter what you do, never turn on your turn signal or other wise you’ll stimulate the reactions describe above. Second swerve your car uncontrollably to the lane you want to change, preferably if you end up with in inches of a car in that lane. At this point a greetings from the other driver may be in order. To perfect your change in lanes, reduce the speed of your car dramatically in a matter of seconds and you will see an action packed reaction from the car behind you.

On Traffic Jams: Traffic jams are teeming with fun filled activities such as:Honking your horn harmonically.Put on Make-ups (usually female drivers only)Nose-pickers sightseeing. (not to be confused with people to scratch their brains through their nose)Reduce the speed to watch what ever is causing the traffic jam. Add excitement by trying to see if you know the parties involved. (note: every filipino driver is obligated to do this)Lose weight by sweating like a pig as a result of a lack of air conditioning. Greet other drivers.Practice lane changing. Play the game: Let’s see how close I can get to you before rear-ending you._

On Pedestrians:These individuals are an annoyance to the Filipino driver. If you see pedestrian on your way, accelerate your car to let them know whose the Boss. If you are in at an intersection, let the pedestrians know you want to proceed by accelerating your car and honking at the last possible moment._

On Social Situation: Bumping into a friend while driving (not to be taken literally) is a joyful occasion. Driver should reduce speed and stop their cars in the middle of the street and chit chat. What about other drivers? Well, they can wait.

On Highway Driving: Bottleneck formation: to accomplish this type of driving , cars must block all lanes by driving at the same speed and side by side (to avoid other cars to pass) . It is important to drive at a speed at least 20 mph below the speed limit .The Three-Lane-Change: This movement requires a lot of precision and creativity. It should be done the highest number of cars possible. And in a matter of seconds to create what others may refer to as widespread panic.

by: Anthony Vincent S. Bolaños
source: www.pinoyjokes.net

Editor’s Notes: The following article is from a British journalist stationed in the Philippines. His observations are so hilarious. This was written in 1999. One of the websites where this first appeared is www.PinoyJokes.net in February 2000.

We are reprinting this article, not only because it is funny, but it is really what makes the Philippines and the Filipino cultural practices unique and an “Only in the Philippines” phenomenon.

Enjoy!

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Matter of Taste
by Matthew Sutherland

I have now been in this country for over six years and consider myself in most respects well assimilated However there is one key step on the road to full assimilation which I have yet to take and that is to eat BALUT.

The day any of you sees me eating balut please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport because at that point there will be no turning back.

BALUT for those still blissfully ignorant nonPinoys out there is a fertilized duck egg.

It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper much like English fish and chips by street vendors usually after dark presumably so you can’t see how gross it is. It’s meant to be an aphrodisiac although I can’t imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid The embryo in the egg comes in varying stages of development but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers beak and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best Others prefer just to drink the so called soup the vile pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus excuse me I have to go and throw up now. I’ll be back in a minute.

All about food

Food dominates the life of the Filipinos. People here just love to eat. They eat at least eight times a day. These eight  official meals are called in order breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, picapica, pulutan and dinner. No one saw me take that cookie from the fridge so it doesnt count.

The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You’re never far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this next time you’re driving home from work, try this game. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don’t mean a distant restaurant or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet its less than one.

Here are some other things Ive noticed about food in the Philippines. Firstly a meal is not a meal without rice even breakfast. In the UK I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second it’s impossible to drink without eating.

A bottle of San Miguel just isn’t the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here you eat with a spoon and fork. You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.

One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office if you catch anyone attacking their baon they will always go Sir KAIN TAYO. Let’s eat. This confused me until I realized that they didn’t actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact the polite response is something like:  No, thanks I just ate

But the principle is sound if you have food on your plate you are expected to share it however hungry you are with those who may be even hungrier I think that’s great. In fact this is frequently even taken one step further.

Many Filipinos use: Have you eaten yet? KUMAIN KA NA as a general greeting irrespective of time of day or location.

Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good. Spicy dishes like Bicol Express strange a dish named after a train anything cooked with coconut milk anything KINILAW and anything ADOBO. And its hard to beat the sheer wanton cholesterolic frenzy of a good oldfashioned LECHON de leche feast. Dig a pit, light a fire add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick and cook until crisp. Mmm mmm, you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful

I also share one key Pinoy trait a sweet tooth I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers, sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it.

It’s the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the halfshell items to avoid in the Philippines include pigs blood soup DINUGUAN, bulls testicle, soup the strangely named SOUP NUMBER FIVE, I dread to think what numbers one through four are and the ubiquitous stinky shrimp paste BAGOONG and it’s equally stinky sister PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.

Then there’s the small matter of the blue ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating blue food the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.

And lastly on the subject of weird food beware that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog).

The Filipino of course has a welldeveloped sense of food. Here’s a typical Pinoy food joke. I’m  on a seafood diet. What’s a seafood diet? When I see food I eat it.

Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals: the feet, the head, the guts,  etc. usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names like ADIDAS chickens feet, KURBATA either just chickens neck or neck and thigh as in necktie, WALKMAN pigs ears, PAL chicken wings, HELMET chicken head, IUD chicken intestines, and BETAMAX video-cassette like blocks of animal blood. Yum yum Bon appetite.

What’s in a name?

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches Proverbs 22 1

WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since.

The first unusual thing from an English perspective is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten but when we move into adulthood we tend I am glad to say to lose them.

The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty five year olds colleague put it Where I come from a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre adolescent bullies and never make it to adulthood. So probably would girls with names like Babes, Lovely Precious, Peachy, or Apples Yuk ech ech.

Here however no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call door bell names. These are nicknames that sound like well doorbells. There are millions of them Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be and frequently are used in even more door bell like combinations such as BingBong, DingDong, TingTing, and so on.
Even one of our senators has a son named Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear

Someone once told me that one of the Bings when asked why he was called Bing replied because my brother is called Bong. Faultless logic. Dong of course is a particularly funny one for me as where I come from dong is a slang word for well perhaps talong is the best Tagalog equivalent.

Repeating names was another novelty to me having never before encountered people with names like LenLen, LetLet, MaiMai, TingTing, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one, LeckLeck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the squared symbol as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while

Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy

More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy. Notice the names get worse the more kids there are best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy

Even better, parents can create whole families of say desserts. Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie, or flowers Rose, Daffodil, Tulip. The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you’re a cab driver. That’s another thing I’d never seen before coming to Manila. Taxis with the driver’s kids names on the trunk.

Another whole eye opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the composite name. This includes names like Jejomar for Jesus Joseph and Mary, and the remarkable Luzviminda for Luzon Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not. That’s a bit like me being called something like Engscowani for England Scotland Wales and Northern Ireland.

Between you and me Im glad Im not.

And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter H. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve I have not yet figured out but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, Bhong, and Jhimmy Or how about JhunJhun, Jhun2.

How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.

Even the towns here have weird names. My favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan ironically close to Olongapo Where else in the world could that really be true. Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin Where else but the Philippines.

NOTE: Philippines has a senator named Joker and it is his legal name. #